shakespeare text speak

According to sources at No Sweat Shakespeare, --Shakespeare Text Speak (or shkspr txt spk!) Aug. 30 2009, politicians in the U. S., New Zealand, Australia, and England, have criticized teachers for accepting certain assignments from their students. What's on these allegedly dubious homework "papers"? It looks something like this: "wot dis iz, iz d nu way 2 rIt shkspr. ts al d rAj."

Ts..."shkspr txt spk"

Of course, the completeness of my NU ShksprEn DicshnarE/Texticon, being temporarily limited to the wrdz & frAzs in the examples you see below, forces me to improvise. So I make no claim to--accuracy, in my attempts to dEsIfr & cumpOz, from the nonetheless uncommon wealth of the wrdz bElO, thOse I have to invent in order to ...cumUnicAte...properlE in dis xItn nU lngwj. JEz, I could be taking a really big chance at botching up shksprz lines and not even know it. I'll try to be more careful az I bEcum mo ("more"? like "mo" in Shakespeare's text? --must be a mistake.) mor adep @ T. I wdnt wnt 2 apEr az thO Im a ejit. For "brevity's sake" I'll move on, old style, and try incorporating the astounding & innovative qualities of this new...sorry... nU lngwj az I gO. (langwj?--that's..."langwidge"-for the benefit of the uninitiated, spelin-chalnjd, or jis plAn slO. )

Witness how the upcoming lines from Hamlet, arguably the most famous in all of English Literature, are gracefully transformed and rendered, az dA (they) simultAnEuslE, economically, and summarily xcize d OvrblOn syllabic detritus and mellifluous superfluity so often left behind as the result of unnecessary alliterative and assonant bombast; itself, native to self-centered poetic genius; the traces of which, as anyone az familiar az dEz students must be with Shakespeare must know, can sometimes, tragically, go unnoticed by more lax, incautious editors. Not so here; as beautifully, in its cumplEte and unXprgatd poetic magnificence, the brilyinz of shkspr is lifted to new hItes upon the wings of brevity.

Without further adU. Here, not 2 2 sollid...sallied, or sullied, by the flesh of my halting hand of ignorance; an actual, authentic 2 !!! excerpt from "d trjdE of hmlt prnz of dnmk", as tranzpOzd by-- "shkspr txt spk"--an xcIting, nU, & Rtfl lngwj.


‘2 b, r nt 2 b dat iz d Q wthr ts noblr n d mnd 2 sufr d slngs & arowz of outrAjs fortn r 2 tAk armz agnst a C f trblz, & by oposn nd em?’

Once more, proof of Shakespeare's skill with words, imagery, and their power to leave one speech-LESS . . .... that power further enhanced by "shkspr txt spk".

Still unconvinced? --And for those who might think I'm kidding, I can assure you, according to the folks at No Sweat Shakespeare (who seem behind it 100%) this is true-form, actual, and authentic Shakespeare, so defined and accepted today, within some of the halls of academia.

For the incredulous--or yet to be impressed--among us (unyieldingly cretinous though ye may be) I can identify with your skepticism, even while blinded by this technique's stunning impressiveness as an instructive and enlightening tool. Claimed by its proponents as "...an additional language the [students have, ...one] that their critics don't." ...[have]...and...well, I digress.

Here's another example of the exemplary form and movement we all expect from a true shksprEn Tragedy; its essence and clarity served up to us in no time, and in a more potent, concentrated dose, thanks to "shkspr txt spk". May it serve to bend the unswerving and most stubborn opinion of even the most draconian critic. ("Doubtful" of its great usefulness or legitimacy.)--And, as the nO swt shkspr ppl are keen to infer about critics--envious, no doubt--of those few, those happy few, conversant-lucky in this new Art in Language).

From The Tragedy of Macbeth:

2mrw & 2mrw & 2mrw crEpz n dis pety plAs frm dA 2 dA 2 d lst silabl of rcrdd tIm & al our ystdAz hv lItd f%lz d way 2 dsty def…tis a tAl tld by an ejit, ful of snd & fury sgnfyn nutin.’

...And Nutin from Nutin leaves...NUTIN.

(Disclaimer: No further editing, whatsoever, of the previous content--either on my part--or on anyone else's part, for that matter--could have possibly occurred.)

Let's get real.

One "matter of fact" question in the article that plays apologist for this..."uddr nonsnz" makes me seriously question the motivation of anyone who might champion a practice such as this: "But what could be more relevant to the modern teenager?"
As if bastardizing words while poking at a cell phone is an unquestionable and better-functioning conduit to learning how those words sound and what they mean.

I have a question for them: What could be more IR-relevant to developing an ease and familiarity with the mellifluent phrasing, vocabulary, imagery, and laudable, erudite, and Truly-Accomplished "Word-Play" in Shakespeare's work, than to waste precious learning-time and effort in attempts to turn it into a series of UN-pronounceable, stunted, grunts and tics; so malformed and transmogrified, that they look and sound as though they were uttered by a lot of ILL-literate, "F%lsh Ejits"? (If I may be allowed Teacher's permission to whet an almost blunted purpose; as I remember that I am also allowed their permission--even within the scope of such seemingly misplaced authority in the granting of permissions --to Spell It Out for Them : Foolish Idiots).

Furthermore, are we actually doing anything worthwhile towards making anything more understandable, when the greater focus is on making it "relevant" to someone's lifestyle? --Particularly when, by allowing the practice of the habits of that lifestyle such permissive pervasiveness, it so skews and maltreats the material itself? Aren't we sending the signal that what's more important is their pacification, at any cost, to them and to us? (As it's likely that they spend more time focusing on altering the very thing we would teach them, than on the actual, unadulterated article itself.) And then, to lend it the legitimacy of sanctioning its submission IN THE PLACE of, and EQUAL TO, the Art we would teach them; telling them, in effect, that whatever they do To that work of art has no real affect; not even on our own respect for it...Tsk...tsk...tsk..."Shkspr txt spk"...THAT.
JM